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broadwayburtonwho:

being this upset and angry is seriously not helpful for doing this project

i hate periods…you feel emotions for no reasooonnnnnn

you may get compliments, but will it raise your grade, or increase your academic skills? nah, not really.

and people wonder why i feel dumb

I’m scared.

Of myself.

Of my mind.

Of my past.

Of my friends.

Of my passion.

Of my fears.

Of my life.

Of the world.

To keep trying is hard

But to continue

Is to be successful.

How is it possible?

How is it done?

Why can’t I focus?

I feel like nothing

I feel like everything.

I have no confidence.

I am an egotistical jerk.

I am too fat.

I want to eat.

I want to lose weight.

I can’t.

The only thing fear has done for me.

Is to stop me from harm.

No cutting.

No screaming.

No starving.

Just crying.

Mental images to drive the brain insane.

Blood all over.

Knives clashing.

People dead.

Children crying.

All this pain in the world.

Wrapped up in me.

Nerves, concern, pain, hurt, laziness, insecurity.

How can I be secure?

I am happy

I get good grades.

I am an artist

I am an actress

I am a leader

I am a director

I am smart

I am a good person

I care for others

I am brilliant

I am adorable

See?

All good.

What is there to worry about?

That’s the thing.

Time.

Time.

Time.

Time.

Isn’t enough of it to be those things.

So my mind creates nothing.

Produces anything but something.

Wrapped in a world of shadow.

Creating its own reality.

The caution of daydreaming and imagination.

None is as good as it seems.

Keeps me breathing though.

I really want to have a passion.

I try and I try. So hard.

But.

I.

Feel.

Nothing.

Those rare moments I cling to and hold on to.

I keep them in my memory.

Though my brain keeps it cloaked in a blanket.

Going through the motions.

Trying to get by.

My passion fades.

I want to accept the compliment.

Self says no.

I want to feel good.

Self says no.

It only feels good to do nothing.

Nothing is numbing.

Feelings are easily accessible.

Yet most not even accessible.

I’m scared.

I’m useless.

My brain keeps saying no.

 SF

Everyday

all alone

filling the spaces

of the paper

wanting

waiting

for something to happen

to whisk me away 

to a happier place

-SF

broadwayburtonwho:

Dreams lead to wonder

a wonder that creates heart

bricks surrounded by grass

creating works of art

an area in

which actors play

where people come

to see the stage

nature and player go hand in hand

in this little sanctuary

shakespeare bows and makes his mark

on the great community

-SF